Badass Is The New Black (Season 3) Episode #17 How To Manage Your Business When You Have ADHD With Alisha Crossley

How do you manage your business when you are someone with ADHD? In what way is it easier or more difficult? In this episode, Krissy Chin brings in someone who is perfectly positioned to share her point of view. Alisha Crossley joins in to share what the experience is like for HER. The similarities that you will find between Krissy’s squirrel brain and Alisha’s ADHD are definitely interesting! You may or may not have a similar diagnosis, but this interview will help open your eyes to managing freedom and flexibility more. With Krissy’s squirrel brain and Alisha’s ADHD in the mix, you may expect to be taken on a tangent or six, but rest assured that each of them is valuable. Stick around for more mind-blowing management tips!

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How To Manage Your Business When You Have ADHD With Alisha Crossley

Author, Podcast Host

In this episode, we dive into how to manage your business when you are someone with ADHD. What I realized in the conversation is that even though I'm not diagnosed with ADHD, nor did I ever think that I had it, Alisha was here to share her story. She also shares what it's like for her to be an adult diagnosed with ADHD and an entrepreneur. I see some major similarities as a visionary, big picture, ideas all the time, squirrel-brained girl. While I don't have a diagnosis of ADHD, this interview helped open my eyes to how to manage freedom and flexibility more. Also, because I have a squirrel brain and Alisha has ADHD, we got off on other topics, which were all so valuable that I left them in the episode for you. Stick around for more mind-blowing management tips.

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Welcome, Alisha Crossley. She's an author, podcast host, and award-winning photographer. Alisha is a collector of stories, capturing their essence and impact with the right medium. Her goal is to make people feel deeply questioned grandly and grow stronger in the broken places. That’s so powerful.

Did I write that Krissy?

Either you did or someone else did.

I'm the only one writing on the team. We're going to get into ADHD but I was like, “That's beautiful.” That must have come after a glass of wine. Let me make sure I've copied and pasted that into my notes for future use please on your application form. Thank you for having me.

Whenever I need a bio, I search bio in my Google Drive and I have one document. Here's a little hack for you guys. I have one document and it has various bios because, for different things, you want to highlight different things. I'm like, “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, which bio should we pick?” I'm always like, “That was a good one. What was thinking when I wrote that one? Let’s delete.”

I had one that said, “The only thing thicker than my accent is the vanilla syrup in my latte.” That's true, but it's also so kitschy and it was like, “When did I write that? That's horrible, Alisha.”

Probably after two glasses of wine.

Two glasses of wine and before I was medicated for ADHD probably. As we progress, and we were talking about that, the focus of our business as we fine-tune that more and more, our bio has to be updated and adjusted. It’s cool to now have the photography business still thriving and moving into this role more as an author and creating that new facade of the business, that second branch.

Evolution is inevitable if you want to be successful. It's going to happen. You're going to grow, learn more, and evolve. Either your brand is going to evolve with you or you're going to create these little branches like you did photography and author and how it's stemming. I'm excited to hear more about your journey. We had so much fun. I was on your podcast, which is Imperfectly Polished, and we had so much fun. I was like, “You have to come on the podcast.” I remember that we talked about my system for the podcast and I don't know if we talked about it in the episode or pre or post and you were like, “I want to experience your system.”

The intake form you had, and I still need to copy and repeat. If you could also let me know when we get done with us exactly how you set that up. It was so thought out so easy to complete and at the same time. All the information that I would want to give you was all thought out. The form too, of how to prepare for the podcast was so perfect. I was reading through that and was like, “Yes, I need this.” I'm totally copying you, Krissy. That should make you feel proud since this is your genius. It’s the systems and intake and all this. I'm learning as I am being interviewed here, so that's good.

It's the exact reason that I created the scalable podcast system. Shameless plug here and now I sell that system for super cheap because everyone has commented on the process. All my guests have commented on the process.

I would totally invest in it. It's worth it because it's your time, it's your product, it was so clear and wonderfully put together. I need that. Take my money, please.

I’ll hook you up but that's not what we're here to talk about. We're going to talk about you and we're here to learn more about you. We're going to want to talk about ADHD. Is it still controversial? Is it not a popular thing if you were diagnosed as an adult?

These are great questions though. We're the audience. This is foreshadowing. We’re like, “These are things that are going to come up soon.”

Maybe I should be diagnosed. I'm a total squirrel brain. I don’t know if it’s personality or ADHD.

That's a good point too. We can definitely talk about that. First of all, I'm going to go ahead and make sure your audience is aware that I'm a photographer and an author. I am not a doctor so I'm sharing my experiences with this diagnosis, and how it has revolutionized so much about my business and my personal life but I'm not a doctor. I can't tell you definitely one way or the other, but there is a great distinction between having these elements of ADHD, experiencing these symptoms, and having it. It’s like those of us who maybe get out of breath. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have cardiovascular disease just because you experienced that particular symptom of cardiac disease. It's a great thing to point out and it's a cool topic to talk about.

Even if we're not diagnosed or we have self-diagnosing as squirrel brain, I know that the things that we're going to talk about that you have been able to manage to be able to manage your business or put in place to be able to manage your business are going to be helpful for people that aren't technically diagnosed.

Which is a great point too, because you and I have a business and raising a family, the struggles that come in with our natural daily focus, whether you are what we say neuro-typical or neuro-divergent, I’m divergent, and again, I’m not being medical. I don’t know but what I do know is my brain diverges into other places. Even that, like you're saying, there are so many crossovers because we're still experiencing the same things. Most of us, even if you don't have ADHD, you struggle with elements of focus and being able to be motivated. There's a lot of crossovers.

There's a spectrum. Everything is on a spectrum. You could be labeled as outgoing and someone else is too, but they're way more outgoing than you because you're a little bit less on the scale. It’s all the same with that so let's dive into your background a little bit. You're an award-winning photographer, which sounds so fancy, a podcast host and author. Take us through that journey a little bit so we can get an idea.

I'm going to give you guys bits and pieces because there’s a lot of stories behind the story. I started off as an English and Art major. I always say that I was an overachiever. I got two useless degrees but I loved my major. I loved my classes and had intended to do law school. After the internship, I hated it and went on to get my graduate degree in Education. For me, the storytelling aspect was always there with my love for literature and my love for photography. Teaching others and being able to coach others was a natural part of it too. I've always enjoyed that. Starting photography was always in college, it was something I loved, it was never meant to be a career. I taught for three years and my husband encouraged me as we started a family to pursue photography to have fun with it.

Unfortunately, fortunately, and this is something those with ADHD now in hindsight, I understand it's typical, the hyper-focus and it’s a super-strength of us entrepreneurs who have ADHD going into something hardcore and hyper-focusing on it and learning everything about it. I did that and I dove into the photography world fully and made it a big career unintentionally. We've been fortunate in the last couple of years. We have a lovely business now. It’s full-time employees with us and we shoot weddings all over the world when it's not COVID whenever we're allowed.

We focus mostly on wedding things and the storyline there. In 2020, I've started the podcast and I'm now writing my first book. I'm working with a writing coach to write a memoir based on my childhood and growing up with parents who have struggled with addiction and my own storyline of coming to a place of forgiveness and being able to see them for who they were rather than what they did. That’s in the making. Hopefully, we'll have that solidified and out by late 2021.

It's a lot of work to write a book.

Yes. I’m like, “I like writing but like Hemingway, he would write after drinking a glass of wine and said, ‘You write drunk and edit sober.’” That doesn't work and I'm like, “Hemingway, that wasn't good advice after all.”

I haven't heard that. I am productive when I'm on an airplane headed to vacation, two screwdrivers in with my laptop out and I’m like, “Oh yeah.” It’s flowing. The words are coming.

After a glass of wine, I get lyrical, which is good. It's not so great and if Hemingway was here in the day of social media, it would be horrific, because I can imagine him posting on Instagram and Twitter at every thought. The good thing for us is we have people who are like, “No, Alisha. Stay off of Instagram. You’ve had a glass of wine. Go write your notebook.”

Let your guard down and let the pieces come out.

That's the thing, then I go back. Edit sober.

Tipsy. That’s a better connotation. Write tipsy, edit sober. Anything is good like that.

When I go back and look, I’m like, “That was ballsy of me to say that. Would I feel comfortable leaving that in?” It is my more true and unfiltered.

That's the unpolished part that sometimes needs to come out. It does give us that liquid courage to let those guards down and let those pieces come out. Honestly, the different captions and things that I have posted in the past when I've been a little encouraged by a cab or a nice glass of rosé have been my most popular posts. It resonates with people because there's so much truth there whenever we let our guards down.

Confessions behind the microphone. It is true because we're not so scared of judgment in that moment with that liquid courage.

We should make a series called Confessions and Cocktails and invite people on to have a cocktail with us and see what happens.

It would be entertaining. It would get a lot of attention because we'd be saying the truth and people would resonate. We wouldn't be so scared. We might cringe after the fact.

 At least we have an excuse, “We had a cocktail. Sorry, we were drinking.”

I love this unknowing then that you used your strength of ADHD which you didn't know that you had ADHD when you got hyper-focused in photography. I love that you reference it now as your superpower and you aren't using it as an excuse, a crutch, or a hindrance to what you're doing.

That's the great thing. As an entrepreneur in general, we all have our zone of genius and we have our weaknesses. That's what you are so great at looking at the systems and how outsourcing and getting the things off our plate that we're not being efficient and focusing on what we're great at. That’s for everyone and that’s understanding now how my brain works have been such a valuable process because I'm understanding not the things I'm interested in but how I work best, how I work differently, and why I have not succeeded with certain systems and certain time management methods before.

Ironically enough, I'm married to a project manager. He's crème de la crème of systems and time management and I've been the worst student over our years of marriage, because he's like, “Do this.” The thing is understanding how my brain works now there are so many different elements of why certain things won't work for someone who's neuro-typical versus neuro-divergent and personality-wise, we all experienced it. The more you dive into those weaknesses and strengths, you can become proud of that genius and understand how to get better at the weaker side.

You mentioned these two scientific terms, neurodivergent and neurotypical. You're not a doctor. I went to nursing school.

You're further ahead than me. I'm only hyper-focused on ADHD and only enough that I can understand to talk about it on a podcast.

Can you tell us the differences between those two?

Absolutely. There's a spectrum and with anything that we look at from a diagnosis like that, whether you have the diagnosis or not, there's that spectrum. The medical field, whoever it was who came up with the terms, I don't know the fellow or the girl, or what year it was made, but those who have ADHD or any diagnosis that's comparable to that are considered neurodivergent. The brain works differently. It holds thoughts differently.

There's a huge list of neuro-divergent characteristics and we don't all have all of them and some have some of them. Those who are neurotypical may also have some of those characteristics, but neurotypical basically means you're not living with a diagnosis like ADHD, Asperger's, or autism. Even though we all have unique brains, the medical field would say that that is a neuro-typical brain because you're not living with that diagnosis and the unique thinking patterns that come with that.

You've hyper-focused and when people think of ADHD, I'm sure they picture this child, and now adult diagnosis is becoming more popular, who can't focus on anything. They're all over the place so that’s the stereotypical thought of it. Hyper-focused means that you got hyper-focused in that one thing, photography. Is that whole, “I can't focus on anything,” not the accurate picture?

There are different types of ADHD. Some people are inattentive, some are hyper-attentive and there's a combination. I'm combined, which means I get to experience both. Sometimes I am attentive and focused and it also makes sense, especially for women. If you were born before 1990, chances are, if you're a woman, you were not even considered a candidate for ADHD. The reason why, honestly, if you look back at medical books in the first few years that it was being researched, women weren't included in the studies. It wasn't thought that girls could have ADHD. Typically, girls are better because we're more cognitively advanced and we're able to mask the symptoms.

We can hyper-focus and do well academically and therefore we're not noticed as someone who may need help because of ADHD. It's usually considered a characteristic trait, a character trait like you're chatty, or you're a daydreamer if you're a girl for a second grade, not ADHD. Where the boys are climbing on the ceilings. There's more awareness and that’s my main thing with talking about it. It’s helping those who are in this 30, 40, 50 age range understand what it is and that you don't suddenly get it at 30, 40, or 50. You've always had it, but why it's never surfaced as a problem until potentially now. For women, the facts show that 2 to 1 boys are diagnosed, up until eighteen years old compared to girls. By the time you get to the 30 age range, it's almost even in diagnosis. It's not that we didn't have it. It's that it wasn't apparent.

You're asking about the hyper-focus and the inattentive. I am medicated and not everyone chooses to medicate with prescription medication like with any other diagnosis. For me, I do well. Riding helps me. I have a Peloton and I get out outside of my body but I do take Vyvanse and I take an afternoon tablet of Adderall. This is another month of being diagnosed and this has been a constant balance of trying to figure out what medications work for you. It's specific, but these have been working best for me.

It's given me the ability instead of hyper-focusing on something like shoes when I’m online shopping for four hours finding the perfect pair and all of a sudden, I've wasted four hours. I have more awareness and more ability to execute which is called the Executive Function. As an entrepreneur, we all want to be the executive. We want to have that ability to implement authority and to command our business in the way we want it to go.

Those of us with ADHD struggle with executive function and that ultimately means making decisions, being able to see time. Time blindness is a real thing. It’s being able to feel it pass instinctively. The way that has helped me since I've learned about it and have chosen the medication that's helped me the best. I have become stronger. I wouldn't be writing a book now. I would not be handling and balancing both the photography business, which is full-time, and creating this brand of writing. It's so intentional. It's given me the ability to do that for sure.

Before diagnosis, medication, and that, what were some of the big struggles that you had in your business?

First and foremost, and this is important. As an entrepreneur, we have to recognize what we are struggling with. You have to self-assess and what is it that I'm not great at. I always knew. I was always the friend who’s the joke. It’s like, “She’s going to be late. She's going to forget her keys. Her phone's probably in the refrigerator.” That can be a personality type. That doesn't mean you have ADHD, but that was always true for me.

I was a great student. I was top in my class. Probably in hindsight, growing up in such a dysfunctional family, going to school, and getting that affirmation was my lifeline. It was more about surviving so the crocodile element of my brain was thriving on doing well at school. If you think about it back in elementary school, and even through college, we had someone directing us saying, “Do this next, do this next.” I know this now I am able strongly to complete tasks in a list and timelines to meet those if they are set for me.

I have to have these systems in place that give me that external awareness of time and motivation where before, I lived in a swamp of sticky notes, alarms on my phone and trying to remember and always feeling defeated. I was diagnosed with anxiety right after we had our second little win. I definitely experienced anxiety, but that can also be a symptom of ADHD, a byproduct of it because of that overwhelm and knowing you're forgetting stuff and knowing that you're dropping the balls. That anxiety becomes crippling. That is also a common diagnosis for adult females instead of ADHD at first. A lot of us who find out later on that we have ADHD was first diagnosed with depression or anxiety.

You mentioned you could thrive if someone was giving you step-by-step. You could do that and you were like, “Great.” In entrepreneurship, no one's handing you a checklist.

You know what you have to have. First of all, I realized I'm a better visionary and a CEO of my business. For most people who have ADHD, I forget the percentage, but we tend to grow and lean towards entrepreneurship because we are able to create our own schedules, even though that may not seem like an existent schedule. We're able to live under our own timeline and not answer necessarily to these ins and outs of what you have to do.

In hindsight, looking back at my academic years, I've performed well but I was extremely anxious. I was always a ball of anxiety. I was afraid I would forget something so I could do it and I still can do it but if that is the 100% guise, I'm living under I'm going to be miserable. I need flexibility. I need to be the one who's implementing the vision. We're typically more prone to take risks, to dream bigger for whatever reason. The impulsivity is both a gift and a problem because that's one thing that I definitely struggled with. I struggled with binge eating during my 20s and 30s and I had a gastric sleeve done a few years ago. I lost 125 pounds. That impulsivity though, now in hindsight is bittersweet, honestly, looking back because would I have needed that surgery? Would binge eating have been part of my story? Living in that mindset of, “What if,” “Could it have been different,” we’ve got to get out of that.

I couldn't stay in that too long after the diagnosis. You grieve it momentarily and you have to have gratitude that you know now, and you can move forward. I have an amazing managing director and she's the one with all of our systems who trains our team. It's important to me that I know and understand how they work, but I also do not have to be with them day in and day out and I'm not the one who is making them work. I may come up with, “It would be a great idea for us to have a questionnaire right when the couple sends in the inquiry and now you go do that.” We respect each other in our zone of genius because that's what Anna does for me and Kelsey works with us too.

We use ClickUp. They assign the tasks that are absolutely things that I have to do. They assign them to me. That may sound the opposite for someone who is the CEO and in charge of your business, but it lets me spend more time working on the book and I'm not spending the time making every little piece get done. They only assign to me what I have to do and can’t do. I have a schedule that’s like, “This is realistic.” I can hammer these things out and I don't even worry about the rest of it. I check in on them when I need to, but they're amazing. That's what it's about. It’s getting the right team and systems. They're my human systems.

I feel like you're telling my story because that's exactly how it works in my brand business. I'm the visionary. I have the ideas and I did have to figure out how to implement and how to do it in the beginning and now that I've hired a support team and someone who came in initially as a content writer, she was going to be writing content for us. She realized, “That's not my strong suit,” but she had these gifts and these qualities of a green personality. She’s analytical, organized, and willing to dive in there, learn how to do it, and get this system processed. Quickly, she kept leveling up in our support team and now she is our project manager in a sense for the GROworkspace brand. I wish that I could steal her for my personal brand. I have to find another unicorn.

Anna's definitely maxed out with our photography side of things. That was part of the plan though. It was building that up and she also shoots for us and she's an amazing photographer. On the personal side, she's not being pulled too much into it yet, but now I have a writing coach and she's assigning me to the needed external deadlines. I'll probably always work with some editor or writing coach for that reason.

When you dive into your weaknesses and strengths, you become proud of your genius and become better at your weaker side.

It’s the same scenario with ClickUp. We were using Monday.com for our task management and now we're using ClickUp and the team loves it, but it's the same. They assign me a task. They tag me and I get the notification. I'm getting better at following through.

I get a text from Anna and she’s like, “Have you looked at ClickUp today?” I’m like, “No.” We have a protocol. When I come in at the office, I’m supposed to hit up ClickUp, go in and check that out. I know what I'm supposed to do but it’s that squirrel brain sometimes. Sometimes it's for the good as the visionary and as the owner of the business. There are days where I'm like, “That's not the priority now.” I know that there are tasks on that but we have two clients that we're meeting with to book their weddings. I've got to turn in these 5,000 words. This is what I'm focused on. It may be 11 PM but I'll get what I need done. Having that authority is empowering for me.

Over the course, it's probably more with experience and age. I feel the empowerment of my own decisions and no longer constantly looking for that affirmation that I needed growing up. A lot of times we need as entrepreneurs to feel like we're doing the thing in our business. It’s knowing yourself. There was a quote and I posted it and it was one of the memes. It’s like, “We seek outside answers and we look for people to tell us what we should do because, for some reason, we think that someone else knows better than we do about what we should do in our business and in our lives.” They are experts. There are people who have a zone of genius, you don't, and identifying that's one thing, but not relying on yourself to be the person behind your business, not having that confidence is crippling. So many people lose their business in the end to self-doubt.

Why do you think that is? I do see that. It seems evident and popular and now that people believe that someone else knows best. I believe I know best for me.

Honestly, if we look at the power of social media and having everyone's opinion and voice around us now, Patrick, my husband, and I recorded a podcast. The episode was about the Guilt If You Do and Guilty If You Don't as a Mother. There’s a great commercial that Carrie Underwood did for Calia, the brand she has with DICK’s Sporting Goods has an empowering message, but there’s that one line in there that stuck out to me because I thought, “Why are we guilty if we’re doing guilty and if we don’t?” It's that same thing because there's so much out there from a media and social media standpoint for moms about, should you breastfeed or should you not? Should you work or should you not? We're constantly like, “Did I make the decision? Is this the decision?”

Because there's someone so sure that this is the right decision and what for them it is and that's the thing. It doesn't have to be a tribe mentality. It's a meme mentality when it comes to making those decisions. It's a good dance to get to a good rhythm of learning when to seek out the opinions of others and when you know that it's something you're not the best at compared to constantly seeking that out because you're so terrified to make a decision. You have to get in there and mess up. You got it. That's one of the imperfectly polished. That's why it's called that.

You can still be successful and polished and have a trail of mistakes and errors behind you and even that you're stepping in the moment. To be a successful business owner, failure is not only an option, it is necessary. There was a book when I was in grad school that they made us read about failure is not an option like the kids are going through. Luckily for us, in grad school, our professors were like, “Failure is not only an option. It is necessary. We need to experience this. Our children need to experience this.” So many of us fear failure that we are looking for outside validation and fear. You have a brand that looks like everybody else's brand and sounds like everyone else’s and you don't stand out.

This whole concept of failure, when I was working with my mindset coach, we talked about the definition of failure and how people are so scared to fail because for them, they have this definition about failure and what it means and what that means for them and their business. We changed the definition of failure for my brain and basically what you do to manipulate your mind because it doesn't know the truth from not. You create this definition that basically you're never going to experience. For me, failure is when I haven't reached a goal and didn't learn something. The reality is I learn something every time I don't reach a goal, which is “failure.” For me mentally, I never feel failure in a way that will impact me in a negative way because it's a part of its process.

I love that retraining our brain in those ways because it's that narrative that we tell ourselves every day. That's the other saying, “You talk to yourself more than anyone else so make sure what you're saying is kind and worthwhile.” That internal narrative that we're telling ourselves and you’re absolutely correct with people looking at failure as such an impactful, almost end to means and it's not. It’s the beauty and the falls that help shape us in such a unique way. I had a huge proposal that I sent out to a client and their designer.

For a few days, we went back and forth. It was great. There were no questions about the budget. I held my breath when I sent this proposal out but they decided to go with someone they had used before because it was familiar. Patrick was so awesome about it. He said, “Years ago, you would not even have been able to fathom sending out a quote of that size. No one would have taken you seriously to have sent that out.” That was done. We've done it. we've sent out that quote. It was serious. We didn't get it, but that's okay. It’s celebrating those wins within the losses. I'm all about finding a reason to celebrate and it's that level of being able to look at that narrative, honestly, not recreating it, but looking for the positive elements in it that keep those of us in entrepreneurship there long-term.

What do you feel you learned from that scenario?

It’s one of the biggest things out there. When I got the response, if it wasn't what I expected, I felt much more defeated. It's funny enough that this episode for mine, it's a short one-person episode celebrating the wins and the losses. I don't know what day it is, but it's anyways. Ultimately, Patrick said, "The fact their yes or their no did not change the value or the opportunity that you knew you had beforehand." Their yes or no did not have anything to do with the value or the worth I have, because if they had said yes, I wouldn't have thought twice and looked back and questioned anything. I know why they said no, which is important to owning a business when you are told no, when you don't get the deal, ask. I have a lot of students that I coach and especially in the photography world and they're like, “I don't know. I feel so weird.” I say, “No, you need to learn why. Is it pricing? Is it style?"

There's a lot of confidence there when we understand that the client wasn't our ideal client and why they didn't choose us. If they didn't choose you because they didn't feel connected, they didn't feel like you cared, that's something you need to know. What is it then in your process that seems flippant? Every time I've asked, I've always had great honest answers. For the most part, for us, it's been budget because we are definitely at this point with the team we have, and with what we offer it’s more expanded. We're also marketed towards that person. We rarely have a problem now. We’re talking to our audio client through our website at this point.

I definitely learned that with that too to have that confidence in myself despite the answer from the client, vendor, the person I'm asking to be on my podcast, the person pitching potentially eventually the proposal for the book too. No matter what they say, I still know my worth. It hasn't changed because of their no or their yes. I can't depend on their yes to fulfill me. My yes, my decision, and my decisions within this business have to be what I feel strongly about and that fulfills me.

I love that. This topic has taken a turn.

I’m sorry, squirrel brain. It's a lot of time for my afternoon medicine so maybe I should go ahead and take it.

We're casual on the show. I like to have a conversation. Sometimes we follow guidelines and sometimes we don't and we go whatever's feeling heavy in our hearts.

When the right things are sad and brought up for the person in the audience now who needs to hear it. Whatever we get into it's because there's value there that needs to be given to your audience in some way we may not have identified before.

I'm trying to think, “What am I going to say in my little intro clip? We've talked about so many amazing things. What am I going to highlight?”

She has ADHD. She shared 5,000 different topics with us and somehow they connected, but it was not what we expected at the beginning.

That was all amazing. I don't want to discredit any of that. I loved where that took. I loved where it went. I was getting some amazing nuggets out of that. I want to go back to some tips because you said, and I don't know if this was before we were talking or when we were in the recording, but you mentioned that some process hasn’t worked for you because of ADHD and now other ones do. I'd love for you to shed a little bit of light on either what didn't work and what you're using now that works.

The thing that's unique and we've talked about the spectrum and with everyone, if you do have diabetes, there are different kinds of diabetes. Even with that, you don't necessarily react the way the other person does. I'm sharing my experiences because there were some people who have no trouble at all with executive function who have ADHD. If you're reading this and thinking, “I don't have any trouble implementing tasks or staying on schedule, but I do struggle with X, Y, and Z,” that's something to be aware of if you are considering that, “This does sound like me.” If that one thing is out there and you’re like, “No, I don't have that.” You don't have to have all of these. For me, time blindness has always been a big struggle.

When I say time blindness, I even laughed when I first read it, because I was like, “That's not true. That's not a real thing," but it is. It's no different than colorblindness. You can't see certain colors if you're color blind. Time blindness is the inability to feel the passing of time and to understand not necessarily on paper how long something takes, but to be able to gauge it before an activity, either underestimating or overestimating. There was a meme or TikTok and it was a woman who has ADHD. Her husband tells her, “We've got to leave the house in seven minutes.” She says, “I've got enough time to paint the house and get a shower.” That's been me for my whole entire marriage.

Poor Patrick is the one who is always on time, such an implementer and it used to make me mad because I thought he was always harping on me like a child. Looking at the systems and the things that I've learned from the time standpoint, I am more receptive to it. I realized, one, that is not my strong suit and whenever it comes to in ClickUp, putting in how much time a task takes, I now take the time and that's one of the aspects of ClickUp I like because it has made me focus. I've taught myself how long it takes for me to walk down the basement stairs to get my things together, put them in the car and drive to the office where I'd be like, “I live ten minutes from my office.”

Twenty-two minutes later I'm at the office because I've got to get my Topo Chico together and I can't find my shoes. Doing this time trial, and putting that into ClickUp, I schedule now everything. Whenever I have important meetings throughout the day, I'm going to put that getting ready and preparation in ClickUp. That's going to go on there because otherwise, I don't realize that that time's passing, and I lose it. Other systems before that have been or even to-do lists, “Here are the things I need to do.” I've always overestimated how much I could get done.

I've always overestimated or underestimated how long a task would take and what that did was set me up for failure because at the end of the day, and look at my list of 3 or 4 measly things checked off and see the other 25 and be like, “I can't believe I didn't get more done.” The fact was, I was always setting myself for failure because of the time blindness and now that I'm aware of it, I'm more practical and I'm more realistic with what can be achieved in a day. I'm becoming more studious about how much time each thing takes. ClickUp has been a huge help for that compared to my normal, post-it note world I was living in prior.

It makes me think of the scalable podcast system. When you're doing it, I'm going to tell you, I show up to my interview is five minutes before because I do look at the notes that the virtual assistant prepared for me on the system or whatever. For you, it might not take five minutes and that's okay but you will be figuring out how much time does it take me to get in my zone for my podcast and whatever.

The important part here is not I get to show up five minutes before, although that's a great selling point because people want to save time with this but you can figure out what the system is so it’s super effective and efficient for you. Once you figure out that my process is not five minutes, it's going to be fifteen minutes, you can then schedule that and have a more polished system and process to follow. It’s super important for people out there to not get discouraged about, “It takes me twice as long.” It's that ability to recognize it, understand it, and put that into action. It’s such a valuable tip there.

It’s great because the anxiety I spoke about and how that was the initial diagnosis years ago or however long, I'm also not great with math. Not being in places on time has always given me such great anxiety. I don't want to be late. I respect other people's time. I have three kids and two brands and four animals in this house. There could be more, but we have a lot going on too. I respect other people's time. I do, but it was saying, “I respect the beautiful colors in the world, but I can't see blue. I can't see it. I'm sorry.” I'm getting better because of the systems that I've put in place and because of being aware of it. It’s then lessening the anxiety because putting these systems in place has given me that margin, I needed to not always feel my pants were on fire and running around a chicken with my head cut off.

Be honest, when we were messaging earlier before this episode, and we were not sure if you're going to record because of weather, connection, and all of that and I was like, “We could do it now,” did you freak out?

I love that. That's again one of the things in my personality type. I'm definitely more of an easy go with the flow and I love last-minute things and spontaneity. I love adventure and not that this is a grand adventure by recording the podcast early but those kinds of things never threw me off because I've always been good. I went to school on a full-paid golf scholarship. I don't know if we've talked about this undergrad and grad school. I don't play golf.

The actual applications said, “A woman who is interested in the game of golf." I was interested. I would play with Patrick. We were dating and we would go for nine holes, but I was never good and I was honest about that. I interviewed well and I've always been able to talk through and get people's attention. This is a survival technique growing up like I did because I realized that people pay attention when I'm able to read into them and see what it is they're looking for. It’s an authentic side of me, but I can link that part into them where we connect. For me talking, especially, we could have never even met and you could be like, “Can you get on in five minutes?” I’ll be like, “Let's go for it.” That's totally fine. I'd love that.

I will commend you that you did well on, “I'll be ready in twenty minutes,” and you were pretty spot on.

I have two timers. I set a ten-minute warning and a two-minute warning so I was trying to get all my stuff together.

You did an amazing job. I would've had no idea that you had time blindness.

Do you know what I almost typed? I said, “Can you give me ten minutes?” I deleted it and I said twenty because I was finishing eating. I was grabbing water and I knew I needed to get my setup ready. I thought immediately, “No, Alisha, that's not enough time,” because I'm practicing this now and implementing the actual time things take.

Even if you don't have time blindness, sometimes everyone wants things away and everyone wants to please people. If it’s like, “Can we do it right now,” initially it would be like, “Ten minutes. I don't want to make her wait too long. She wants to do it now.” Regardless of time blindness or not, probably you have the indication of you're going to err on the side of less time. I always do that because I don’t want to say I just left. You don't want to tell them that you left ten minutes late. You’re like, “I’ll be there in fifteen,” and it’s 25. "I should have been honest."

That’s the thing, those realistic expectations are true for every business owner. We set ourselves up for failure and I don't mean failure like learning a lesson, a good failure. I mean like falling on your face because you're going to be twenty minutes late but because you simply did not set realistic expectations with yourself and the person you're working with. The more that we can prepare ourselves and prepare the people we're working with the better the outcome and the success. When I almost tapped ten minutes, I thought, “No, that's not going to happen.” I'm going to be stressed sitting down to this and having anxiety so I deleted it. Twenty minutes is definitely what I need to throw some blush on. I knew it was a video, grab my stuff, get up there, and get the ham and cheese out of my teeth and all that jazz. Becoming more realistic with those little things has a big impact.

We need to have the ability to implement authority and command our business in the way we want it to go.

I loved it when you said, “I knew it was going to be on video that's because I tell you guys fifteen times in the process every single point.” I say, “We'll be on video,” “We'll be on camera because I repurpose the content.” I want to make sure you guys are prepared so I love that you totally called that out.

Your process for this is ADHD-friendly. Krissy, I'm not here to diagnose you or the audience, but at the least, you have tendencies that definitely you empathize with when it comes to ADHD. You are trying to make it a luxurious experience for your guests who come on. Luxury, that's one thing too, that word, I know a lot of people. That's connected to a certain monetary element, but luxury is comfort. Being able to provide a luxurious experience as a podcast host or hostess us as being able to provide that comfort. It was such a comfortable experience and definitely prepped me and helped me to minimize anxiety. Do you know how you need to have a little star it's ADHD friendly gender equality friend and all the friendly. You’re an ADHD-friendly podcast.

This has been awesome. Are there any other little tips and tricks that you want to give?

I'm going to leave everyone with a few things and again, whether you have ADHD or not. A few of the other systems tricks that I've learned have helped me. If you're someone who struggles with, either hyper-focus, getting motivated again, having the inattentive and the hyper there are some days where I struggled with the focus compared to others. One thing I have learned during the day is focusing on that morning practical list, creating that realistic list and I create a list of want-tos.

These want-tos are the things that used to get me away from doing the things I needed to research a place for spring break for the family, go online and buy a new pair of new heels. It’s things that I would like to do and need to, but don't have to do so I call these my want-tos. I have a running list of want-tos and I reward myself. This is another big thing with those of us who are neuro-divergent. We respond well to external motivation so I create my own. If I go, “Alisha, you complete this task in the time period that you have estimated or if you get these two things done before noon, then there are 30 minutes to do some want-tos.” I build on want-to-time. I pick out something from my want-to list and I feel motivated, rewarded and it helps me stay on track while also getting to enjoy, I say Nancy Drew and I love researching. I get to spend those 30 minutes researching a place for spring break and enjoy that process. That's one of my biggest hacks that I've learned to keep me from getting off track.

The other thing I'll say, I'll leave this because it’s tangible, clocks, and timers. Learn how long things take you. If you're someone who struggles with getting places on time or finishing things when you say you will. Get little timers off of Amazon. Set them. See how long it's taking, use your iPhone, or whatever. For me, having actual clocks and there are studies that show not digital clocks, but true clocks where you can see the passing of time, I now have those everywhere in our house. We look like a Mad Hatter or something. It’s because I can see the passing of time and I'm aware then when I look up it would feel like it's five minutes and it's been 40. It's making me more aware of how that time is passing.

Get your want-to list together, have clocks everywhere, timer set, set realistic expectations for how long it's going to take you on things, and use some tools like ClickUp when your team is the one that's setting it up like Alisha and I. The team sets it up. My sister and I have another project that we're working on and it's this fourteen-day training so I went into ClickUp and I was like, “I'm going to play around with this. I'm going to set a goal and these little tasks to complete.” I was like, “Day one, email and copywritten. Day one video training created.” I got through three days and I was like, “This is taking forever. That's a waste of my time. I could be doing something else.”

That's a great point too. Many of these programs and apps, you can get lost in the planning rather than the doing. That's something else I've learned is not to hyper-focus on the research and the planning but to get your butt in gear. I was going to say another word, but I also read the actual sheet that got me prepared that said don't use profanity if all possible. Even if we were profanity friendly so I said butt. There you go. That's one thing too. It’s to get it in gear and not spend too much time planning. Planning is good, but we sometimes use that as an excuse to not do.

I was debating, “Should I pass this off to someone else like a virtual assistant to set this up?” I was like, “No, I don't need any of these days. I don't need all of these.”

It’s not even something that’s needed. That was a great experience and you learned. This is not something I have to go through and make so perfect in order to do what I want to do.

I figured out how to set a goal in ClickUp.

I was going to say the one part ClickUp that I use often for my visionary side is and this is one thing too, being more visual and this is a common ADHD thing is the mind maps that are in there. If you think back to Venn diagrams and that thing in school, it's not quite that cheesy, but I have a topic, say trauma, for the podcast at the end can have spinning all from that and it's a visual list that shows my circle of trauma and I've got four other topics that are connected to that. Underneath it, I can have either topics or ideas for guests for those. These mind bubbles for my podcast are how I plan out potential ideas for the podcast. It’s creating that mind map and that's helpful for me because then I have a visual of it and what I've worked on and gotten some good research for and what I haven't.

I have not seen that.

It’s not a main feature. You can change anything from a list to a board or a mind map. You may have seen it and you’re like, “What is a mind map?”

You type it out in designated spots and you say mind map and it will graphically put it in there.

Either way. Vice versa. You could do it as a mind map and it'll show it to you on a board or a list and that's what works for me and for my team because I like having this as a drawing board and they're able then to get a list from it of the task that needs to be done. That's one thing I like about ClickUp. It’s how user-friendly it is depending on your learning style and your style of planning tasks and getting things done. You've got the virtual element there that your team is able to connect. Everyone can see it how they want to. I may do better seeing it as a mind map. Kelsey may do better seeing it as a list. Anna may like to see the projects as a board. It gives a lot of flexibility for team members to be able to get in and do their best with how they learn best.

What do you even call those categories? It's a task management platform.

It’s a task management app. This is by far my favorite platform so far for my brain.

I've worked with contractors that have used Asana and I couldn't get it. I'm so sorry that I couldn't get it.

I never felt connected to Asana. It wasn't confusing, but I always reverted back to my handwritten list so I could use it.

My brain didn't follow the way that it was doing. It's so interesting to watch how my sister organizes things and versus how I organize. I always used to think, for websites, when they put their little logo in the corner, I'd always texted Claire, “How do I get back to the main page?” She’s like, “Seriously? Click on the logo.” I'm like, “Why would I click on the logo?” She was like, “Because that will take you back to Home.” I'm like, “That makes no sense. Why can't there be someone who's says, Home or Back? How am I supposed to know?”

I will be honest I think about that as a navigation issue on a website. I try not to be that one. I try to be helpful and I'm probably too helpful. I give more help than people need but I would absolutely email that business at the end and say, “I wanted you to know, as on your website. I love your services. You say some awesome things, but it was confusing for me from a navigation standpoint. I couldn't figure out how to get back to the home page and there's not a navigational direction to get back Home or back to the beginning.” It's good for us as business owners to help each other with that.

However, what I have learned is that it's a common thing. How about on your website?

I have a Home. I don't know if the logo does it because if I was on a website and there wasn't a button that said Home, I would be lost.

You better also link up your logo for the people that are not paying attention to Home. If I can't figure out how to get back to where I want to go, I click the logo in the top left corner and every time it takes me to Home. I'm like, “Who knew?”

Good to know. I feel like you told me about the bread trail crumb. I’d like to get back so thank you. I now know that I can use that. There’s probably this old lady who's messaging me to have a Home button. Does she not know to press the logo? I'll stop doing it so thank you for that.

You’re like ClickUp. Cancel the email to go out and complaining about navigation. This has been amazing. You mentioned your memoir a little bit so I'm excited for people to continue to follow you. My mother grew up in an addictive family. While I wasn't firsthand with the things that she has gone through and dealt with and learned about herself and family and whatnot, I know that your book is going to be so powerful for people that that resonates with. Please guys, go follow Alisha. Make sure you stay connected with her so you can read her book or pass it off to a friend who you know could find value in that. I'm sure there's going to be more books to come.

I’ve got two more that I've got research notes going for. I've always known. I've spent years telling the stories of others and lovingly so I still love my medium of photography, but it's finally time to tell my story and it's been through the healing, therapy, and all of the things that I've learned. I'm sure with you experienced it with your mom and anyone out there who's experienced that, it's definitely a process and it’s come full circle. I'm excited and I appreciate you and everyone's support. It's going to be based in the South where I'm from. It’s a piece of Southern literature that hopefully will resonate with those that need it.

How can everyone find you stay connected to you? They can listen to your podcast in the meantime.

It’s a squirreled brain conversation. They definitely need to come to the podcast. I'm better staying on topic as a host than a guest because I feel a little bit more liberated as a guest and I'm like, “I’m here for the good time.” No, I'm kidding. I did prepare. I hope I sound prepared. My podcast is in Imperfectly Polished. It's the idea of showing up both beautiful and broken and as a whole person and not having to hide behind that mask that a lot of times social media makes us feel we need to in order to be accepted or to be successful.

There's a lot of stories from anything of ADHD and trauma to systems and time management. It’s focused on helping those who are balancing everything else, the multiple roles. That’s Imperfectly Polished we're on Instagram. If you're interested in being a guest or have questions about that show definitely DM me. We're working now on the website. It will be up by the time this is live. That will be AlishaCrossley.com and that'll house everything, the podcast, the author page, opportunities for speaking engagements, media kit, and all of that. It’s AlishaCrossley.com speaking get into the future because this is the future is now up. AlishaCrossleyPhotography.com is the photography page if you're getting ready to have an awesome wedding and you need a photographer. We've got you there.

This has been amazing. Fantastic.

You’re awesome, Krissy.

Thanks for jumping on with me.

I love your energy and your show is one of my favorite ones. I was so honored to have you as a guest so thank you so much for having me.

Absolutely. We'll see you later.

Important Links:

• https://m.Facebook.com/alishacrossleyphotography/
• https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/alisha-crossley-759ba938
• Alisha Crossley
• Podcast – Creating a Business That Works For YOU Through Automation with Krissy Chi‪n episode on Apple Podcasts
• Imperfectly Polished – Apple Podcasts
• ClickUp
• GROworkspace
• Monday.com
• Guilt If You Do and Guilty If You Don't as a Mother – Imperfectly Polished past episode on Apple Podcasts
• Asana
• @ImperfectlyPolishedPodcast – Instagram
• AlishaCrossley.com

About Alisha Crossley

Author | Podcast Host | Award-winning Photographer

Alisha is a collector of stories ... capturing their essence and impact with just the right medium. Her goal is to make people feel deeply, question grandly, and grow stronger in the broken places.

Ugh super powerful! We had so much fun when I was on your podcast Imperfectly polished that I wanted to bring you on here and chat! So thank you for being here!